Finally Updated

I know that I have been a pathetic blogger lately! Most of the time I say that there is no excuse as to why I haven't been blogging, but this time I do have excuses. For the past couple of weeks work has been insanely busy. I get to work early everyday and hit the ground running (my early time is when I used to blog). Before, if I didn't get to blog in the morning then I would try to find time later. Since I am even working through lunch most days there is no time later in the day either. At night is out of the question. On the nights I am actually at home the last thing I want to do is get on the computer after sitting in front of one all day long. On top of all of this, I just haven't felt like blogging. I have been pretty down on myself lately and haven't felt there was anything worth blogging about which made it even more difficult to set aside time.

Anyways, here I am now and feeling good, taking the time to blog. There is something therapeutic about the blogging experience. I may be weird, but it makes me feel connected to people. We make little time to sit down with each other and really find out how they are doing. We usually ask the "How are you?" question and the typical response is "good" which then means that we can wipe our brow in appreciation that there is not a problem to be solved at that moment. This is not how we should be and even more importantly it does not portray our love for each other. Take time to really talk to someone you love and really find out how they are doing. You may learn something you never knew about that person.

Enough of my sunday school lesson for the day. As for me personally like I wrote earlier, I have been struggling. Since my weigh in (almost a month ago) I have REALLY been struggling with working out and eating healthy. Quite honestly I haven't wanted to do either and most of the time the thought of living that lifestyle would just make me mad. Yesterday was a turning point for me. I am in desperate need of some new clothes and tried to do a little shopping yesterday on my lunch break. I didn't even try anything on, but instead analyzed the clothes and convinced myself that they would not look good on me and that I should just give up. Luckily I immediately realized this was stupid, put the clothes down and walked out of the store. While I knew this was stupid it still didn't feel good. By the time I got to the car I had given up again and went to Sonic. Spent an insane amount of money for lunch (I think it's insane to spend that much money) and didn't even enjoy the meal. In fact, I was embarrassed that I had purchased it and wanted to eat it fast before anyone else saw me. I went online and began reading weight loss success stories since I knew that I was spiraling out of control. After reading several of the stories I realized again the lies that I was being told. At that very moment I decided to stop it!!!! I threw away my half eaten Reese's Sonic Blast and made a declaration that I am done! Food is only for nourishment and not entertainment and I am letting satan get a foothold in my life through food. No more satan! Me and God are doing this and you WILL lose!!! This morning while out running I prayed my way down the street and back. It was amazing how energized I felt and even cooler how close to God I felt. Whatever you are struggling with right now I pray that you tell satan that you and God got this and that he will lose. He has made me feel so terrible about myself for the past several weeks and I have missed living in the love and grace of my heavenly father. Enough satan, in the mighty name of Jesus get back!!!

Ok so I am really not a preacher, but revealing these struggles feels really good. I have been bogged down by them for awhile now. Today's a good day because I am a child of God!